The Two Mile Ride, an annual Highlands event since 2013, starts at New Baltimore Garage, George Downes' heavy truck facility, and ends at Dave Hennessey's house. Although neither “as the crow flies” nor “as the motorcycle rolls” are Two of anything, we continue to refer to this as the Two Mile Ride.

We were poised to leave when the battery in Juan's cellphone died. Normally, this would not be a cause for cancellation. But Juan was in the middle of selling his house, and expecting a pretty important telephone call. So he turned around and rode his Fabulous Flathead back home.

We spent an hour and a half riding pleasant country roads in Fauquier County, and Dave found Dave's house without getting lost. The Chapter event ended.

Then the Private Party began. The riders reaped their just rewards. Dave provided north-of-the-border libations - Azanook, 4Ps, and Blonde Bombshell.

Jennifer Hennessey served up a delicioso lunch of home-made south-of-the-border favorites - chicken enchiladas, beef enchiladas, beef tacos, and enough side dishes to stuff a cute little burro - like Pedro.

Pedro, who had ridden all the way from old Mexico, had been stopped at the border for violating the Patriot Act, as well as trying to smuggle some illegal liquor. How he managed to escape the clutches of the law is beyond us, but we suspect some impropriety with a quantity of pesos.

Being good citizens, we re-enacted the Spanish Inquisition, and strung poor Pedro up. Then the amateur Federales beat him with truncheons, hoping that he would spill his guts.

Thanks to Rankin's Hardware for lending us the truncheon

The first “interrogator” was Patricia, who after several preliminary attempts, gave Pedro a mighty thwack. But Pedro's resolve was strong, and his lips remained sealed.

Patricia passed the baton truncheon to Rebecca.

Pedro lost his head - and spilled his guts. Then the gleaners hit the field to gather Pedro's treasures — ten new $2 bills, twenty shiny new Kennedy half-dollars, as well as Cabernet, Merlot, Chardonnay, and Riesling in miniature plastic bottles.

After Pedro was picked clean...

Parting Shot